After years of technical excellence, Anne has earned her position as a senior member on her team. During a recent meeting, Anne asked a technical question, only to have an engineer direct his answer to a junior male engineer sitting next to her. Later, she posed another question, only to have the same engineer address her junior as if she didn’t even exist. Anne is no stranger to being overlooked like this, but it still stings just as bad as it did the first time. Even so, what can she do? If she complains, most people will brush her off as being ‘too sensitive’.

Subconscious bias against women, especially in the technical field can show up in many different forms. Once, while waiting to be called in for an interview, I watched a hiring manager ask every male in the lobby whether they were ‘Maya’. It took him a few minutes before he thought to look in my direction and ask me if I was the engineer he was supposed to interview.

I used to think that this was my fault. Somehow, something about me was causing this behavior. Maybe I came across as challenging or rude with my questions. Maybe they were put off by my face. But if this was truly my fault, why was it also happening to many of my female colleagues?

The sad truth is that while the bias is obvious to us, it’s not always obvious to our managers. A mentor once told me his experience of bias against a female engineer on his team. While reading an email thread he saw that male team members from remote location removed the female engineer from an e-mail thread discussing an issue she raised about the remote team’s code. He added her back to the thread and asked for her feedback. He also decided that the remote team needed training and sent them the best – the very same woman they tried so hard to ignore.

While it is easy for a manager to act when it is obvious that they should, most of time it is not apparent to them because the bias is subconscious. I would argue that most men who exhibit subconscious bias against women are not ‘evil’. In my experience, they tend to be older men or men from cultures where women are not considered as equals who don’t understand the impact of their actions. They don’t recognize their behavior as biased. To them, this is just how they’ve operated for generations. It is the unfortunate reality for a lot of engineers, and it doesn’t just affect us women, it also affects men and those who don’t identify with a particular gender. The sad truth is that subconscious bias will not change overnight, and you can’t avoid it because it comes in many forms. So, what do you do?

1. Understand that you are not at fault – Some people may be putting you down subconsciously. Others may be doing so on purpose to get ahead of competition and make themselves look smarter. Odds are these people will not change how they operate, but why should you change to match their expectations? Accept their bias as a fact, but don’t think for a second that life will become any easier if you play into it by speaking less or being more polite.
2. Keep being technically formidable – If something does not make sense to you, don’t be afraid to question it. Don’t be shy about expressing your ideas and thoughts. Don’t let the biased behavior of others keep you from doing the things you should do to get ahead in your career. File for patents, attend seminars, be open to giving talks. Be confident in your abilities, because if you are not, no one else will be. Remind them why you are here and don’t make it easy for them to forget it.
3. Find a way to connect with your co-workers – Facing subconscious bias as an individual can be frustrating, painful, and deeply disheartening. However, more often than not, you’re not going to be the only one who notices it or is affected by what’s going on. Having a few colleagues whose support you can count on will make all the difference when you face bias at work.

If you are convinced that the bias is not subconscious or you are being treated differently than others in your group and it is affecting your performance at work, you should not hesitate to deal with it. Start by having a direct non-confrontational conversation with the person(s) whose action is impacting you. If the behavior doesn’t change, raise it up your chain of command.