Starting my career as a hardware engineer in the early 1990s, I felt incredibly lonely. Back in those days there were even fewer women in engineering, so I had a hard time connecting with my co-workers who were mostly male. Every day, they would argue about football in our shared office, and none of it made any sense to me.

During my morning commute one day, I happened to listen to a radio show with famed football coach John Madden. None of what he said made any sense to me either, but when my co-workers gathered for their daily football discussion, I felt such a strong urge to be a part of this group that I repeated what Coach Madden said. Some of them agreed, others vehemently disagreed, but one thing was for sure: I was now a part of this group.

Having even the smallest connection with a co-worker can make a world of difference in their attitude towards you. They may be more open and thorough when answering your questions. Your co-workers are more likely to go the extra mile when working with you. They may even stand up for you should you get swept into office politics. But most importantly, they will treat you as a comrade, and office comradery makes for a much more enjoyable work experience.

Connections are best when you build them unhurriedly. This gives you a chance to evaluate the person you are interacting with and consciously decide whether you want to keep building this relationship. Let’s face it, not all potential connections are worth pursuing. On the flip side, don’t expect to have a deep, lasting connection with everyone that you work with. One does not need to be beloved by everyone to have a happy, productive career. After all, you are not a slice of pizza ?.

Choose the right time – just because you are ready, does not mean that the person you want to connect with has the time or bandwidth to build that connection. Keep initial attempts short and sweet. Most importantly, keep an open mind and be willing to listen while doing so. Until you really know someone, one must stay away from sensitive topics like religion and politics.

So, what are some of the techniques to help you connect with co-workers?

1. Show interest in their passions – Its always easy to connect with someone who shares an interest with you. But what if you have nothing in common with a co-worker? One surefire way to get the conversation started is to pick one of their interests and ask them about it. Show them that you are interested in the things that make them happy. More often than not, they will open up a little and you will learn something new.

2. Actively be a part of the group – Most companies have group activities (e.g. sports leagues, exercise classes, or interest groups). Giving them a try might give you an opportunity to connect with your co-workers outside of work. Even simple acts like participating in group lunches or attending meetings in conference rooms instead of calling in from your cube go a long way in helping you connect with your co-workers.

3. Volunteer your knowledge – If you notice a project or colleague in trouble at work and you have the bandwidth, offer to provide some technical help. Mind you, this is not about providing menial support (e.g. by bringing coffee or doughnuts), but rather going the extra mile professionally to get the project back on track.

4. Always be positive – Attitude matters, and it goes without saying that folks prefer to connect with positive people. To that extent, always have a positive attitude at work.